The Story Of Ramses

After browsing through the suggested activities for Home Learning, I suggested for Ilham to "write a story set in Ancient Eqypt" as his first activity. It was the easiest one I could think of. What we needed was only a piece of paper and lots of brilliant ideas. It was easy !!! Or so I thought....


First, he made a list of what he thought ancient Egypt was like :

Pyramid, river nile, temple, pharoah, the boy king Tut, egyptian boat, mummies, dessert.... hmm... what else??? These things could be mentioned in the story.


Then, the story needed a plot. So what's the plot about?? Ilham didn't understand what a plot was. I had to rephrase that "what is the story about?" After thinking about it for a little while, he said it's about how a boy saved King Tut's life. Hmmm.....that sounded like a good story....


Let's see what transpired between us in the making of the "story"


"Once upon a time in the golden sand of Egypt, there lived a boy named Ramses", then he stopped.


Me : That's a nice beginning. Explain a little about Ramses. Who is he?


"Ramses was poor boy", he stopped.


Me : What did Ramses do?


"Every day, he helped his father in the field. When he finished, he would go to the river Nile to fish and to enjoy the view."


Me : That's nice, write a little bit more.


"Sometimes he would play around the pyramid"


Me : Go on...


Ilham : No, that's enough, you only need a little introduction.


Me : Ok, let's write the main story then, remember your plot.


"One day, Ramses saved King Tut's life"


Me : If you write that, your story will end in 3 lines. This is the interesting part, explain how Ramses saved King Tut's life. What happened on that day. What was Ramses doing.


"One day, Ramses was lying on the river bank. Suddenly he saw King Tut fell into the river. Then Ramses saved him"


Me : First, in your story do you want Ramses to know that it was the boy king? Second, make it more suspense. What happened when he fell.


So the sentence was rewritten....


"Suddenly he saw a boy fell into the river from a boat. There was a crocodile in the river. The crocodile came towards him. Ramses killed the crocodile. He saved the boy."


Me : That's good, but maybe you should explain a bit what did the boy do next when he fell, and how Ramses kill the crocodile. Remember, you want to make it suspense! And tell me first before you write, that way, you don't have to keep erasing.


"The boy tried to swim to the river bank, but then the crocodile came and grabbed his legs"


Me : Good, what did Ramses do then.


"Ramses took his spear and throw it at the crocodile, but it missed. Then Ramses jumped into the river. He took his knife and stabbed the crocodile until it died"


Me : Very good, then what happened?


"You saved my life" the boy said to Ramses,"come to the palace, I must reward you"


Ilham : I'm tired now, can we continue tomorrow?


That was the end of our writing on the first day. The following day, Ilham had another session of writing, with his father this time. It was easier the second day, he had more "ideas" of his own - the boy king and Ramses became friends, the Romans came, people died, Ramses defeated the Romans, they lived happily until King Tut died, Ramses became pharoah etc...


Conclusion : Writing is not easy :)